Defining the Line Between Fun and Bias

You bring up an excellent point. We do Nerd Day at our school, too, and it's usually the most popular of all dress up days. I have always joked to my students that I'm a nerd everyday, so there's no need for me to wear a costume. Now I'm glad to have done so. Reading your post really hit home with me; I remember countless middle grade days spent worrying about my pants being too short and especially about how nerdy my glasses were. Being accepted at my school wasn't about a person's intelligence or even her character, but rather which popular brands she wore and how conventionally attractive she was.

Fortunately, these days I am lucky enough to teach at an all-girls school where we consider nerdiness a virtue. Yet, the dress up day involves all the stereotyping you mentioned. Perhaps, in a way we aren't dressing like nerds (we ARE nerds, and we don't normally dress that way) but unconsciously making fun of an entirely different group of people altogether.

Thank you for providing me with this insight. I'll be sharing it with my co-workers as well as my students.

I don't think you are overtly sensitive at all. I actually thought the same thing about my *college* campus just a few weeks ago. I was "one of those" in school as well, and still feel uncomfortable walking by younger people that look like the "popular" kids. Of course, I am making my own judgement calls there as well, but it is what it is. Good for you. And I am glad I am not the only one that thought "nerd day" would be just as offensive as something like "black face" day.

Cheers!

Hm, what you propose is very interesting, and in a number of situations, a "Nerd Day" could have negative consequences. My experience has been very different, though.
The school I go to is a very... different one compared to the rest of the schools in my area. Our mission is based on being a self-motivated person, but to others, the school seems only for really smart people, or "nerds," and the overall feelings toward the school have been rather negative. So when we have a "Nerd Day" as part of the school spirit week, I see it more as if we are saying that we can tolerate this stereotype and laugh at it, making any criticism seem less, because our school actually has more average students than geniuses, nerds, what have you, and the only thing that may differ is the level of motivation. But in the end, the day is a fun one for us.
I simply wish to make it clear that I understand that the day can be a bad thing, but not always (and these situations may be rare, yes).

And if it makes any difference, we do have students with special needs that attend the school, too.

This was the first year it occurred to me how hurtful this day could be to some students in schools. I actually would not let my middle schooler dress up for the day. He goes to a middle school that also happens to have a lot of the county's students with autism, which as you wrote, often have the very characteristics some "nerds" are teased about.

I asked my son to think about students who are teased and called "nerds", and how those students might feel on a day where everyone thinks it is funny to dress up and act like THEM.

Yeah, where's your day?...

I can attest to the whole.. nerd couture. I can, just the same, speak from within. I believe greatly that the spirit of "Nerd Day" is in genuine good intent and should therefore bare no scrutinizing. Reality is, everyone is celebrating the fashion- and all that it entails. There is no "bullying day", or "special needs day" or any other day of the sort that reflect behavior or disabilities as some have voiced it may offend. It is a simple fashion. How certain people react to this fashion and patronize it are more specifically bias views, and not everyone's. Just as mentioned, a nerd can be very proud of his or her grades and content with their wardrobe, so why not entice it? Heck, all the other kids look forward to that day the most! I know I've heard my sisters and nephews excited to dress up "nerdy" to school as well. Not to mention the large glasses, high socks, and other nerd-like fashions are slipping into style for everyday wear. Have fun with it. The way I see it, these guys have a day that everyone looks forward to dress the same... where's your day?

I agree with your actions on this whole-heartedly. However, I do have a proposal: turn this around and make it "Nerd pride Day!" As you said, no one should be ostracized for loving knowledge. And we should all tell these students that life changes dramatically for them once they hit college or find a career they really love-high school is just a footnote to life.

I was certainly picked on in middle school and even parts of high school, but I don't remember anyone calling each other nerds. We came up with more vicious, cutting words to taunt each other. I considered Nerd Day a throwback to the popular 80's movies like Revenge of the Nerds or the Steve Urkels. Most high school kids know that "The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth" because of successful people like Bill Gates.

But if the day truly bothers you or any of your students, which is a sign that something needs to be addressed, then I think of the acronym of N.E.R.D. Never Ending Reminder of Dreams. Students can opt to dress as their future professions on that day instead of buying into outdated stereotypes.

Go Carrie! I love seeing your stuff on here!

I also do not think there should be a "nerd" day in Middle School. I am a Middle School Counselor and one of the ASB advisors in my large comprehensive suburban Middle school. The kids try to convince us each year to allow a nerd day. The compromise we allowed last year was a "Steve Urkel" day, by using a fictional character the students were able to laugh and participate without labels. Some of them had to look up Steve Urkel, but that was part of the fun.

So, is "Nerd" the new minority? Seriously, aren't we taking all of this a little too far? No, I wasn't a popular kid, or mean girl in school.

It's all in fun? Not really. You are not over reacting in this matter. You did the right thing.

Being a nerd isn't about getting good grades and wearing unfashionable clothes...it's something entirely different than that. I know because I got great grades and didn't wear fashionable clothes. My mother was a single parent and she didn't receive child support so we didn't have a lot of extras, especially named-brand clothes and purses. Despite that, we were able to adjust, be sociable and fit in with the other kids at school.

In my experience in high school, nerds were withdrawn, socially awkward kids that somehow didn't fit in - but it had nothing to do with their grades or clothes. It was something more subtle and for the life of me I can't put my finger on exactly what it was.

Growing up, because I was a great student, I participated in a lot of extra-curricular activities that could be considered nerdy. I was on speech and debate and I was in the Mock Trial team. I also was in the National Honor Society and I was class president. However, I played sports and I was a cheerleader too.

What I noticed, being able to interact with all types of kids, is that the "nerdy kids" had elitist attitudes and would actually mock and ridicule me because I wanted to go to a sporting event or attend the school dance. Whereas my cool, popular friends never gave me a hard time about the fact that I was crazy about Mock Trial and was in the Math Club. My cool friends didn't care...

As an adult, I tend to gravitate more towards the "nerdy" stuff. I guess, that's probably more of my natural comfort zone (I majored in Accounting and Finance which is about as nerdy as you can get). But, in high school, I really made an effort to fit it and some of my other chosen activities (sports, cheerleading) are examples of ways I tried to blend in with everyone else. I'm not saying that everyone has to do that or be that person. What I guess I am saying is that the people that I know to be "nerds" embraced and loved their nerdiness. That might not hold true for the masses but that doesn't necessarily mean that being a nerd is a bad thing.

I say, dress up on Nerd Day. And if you are a nerd, be proud of that title. All of my nerdy friends were proud growing up. And why shouldn't they be? After all, us nerds are the accountants and the finance professionsals - the engineers and the computer scientist. You know, the Bill Gates and Steve Jobs of the world? And they are running the world!

So, my recommendation to you educators - don't let the term nerd be a stigma...teach your students how to embrace it!

You raise an excellent point. It reminds me of a situation years ago when I was teaching at the high school level. During Spirit Week one day was designated as "goth day". Now I had two delightful girls in class that did have black and orange streaks in their hair daily, black nails, nose studs, etc when all the other kids typically dressed rather preppy (this was back when wearing your Ralph Lauren was all the rage). So they dressed up in pleated shirts, button-down collar shirts, dyed their hair to cover the streaks, got rid of some of the jewelry and black nails and put hair bows in, etc. I thought it was clever and a riot and let them know that--their classmates were not as entertained with the irony!

I also have an issue with the dress-up days that some kids just do not have the $$ to go out and buy something that is not typically in their wardrobe--so the days should be designated something that is either likely to be in most closets (a white shirt, etc) OR easily available at thrift shops.

Excellent thoughts here Carrie.

Personally, I think there are two very different versions of a "nerd". The first, is what we've come to expect on television and in the movies. The first that come to mind are classics like Alfalfa from Little Rascals and the guys from the Revenge of the Nerds movies. They wear suspenders, pocket protectors, taped glasses, etc.

The other kind of nerd is a little harder to define, because I think it floats from generation to generation. As you've mentioned, not wearing the right clothes or listening to the right music or doing too well in school all make someone eligible for the "nerd" title.

I would expect that events like the "Nerd Day" at your school are designed with the first group in mind. If all of the kids and faculty clearly understood that that version of nerds was the goal, then there might not necessarily be any problems.

With that said, I don't know that we can trust everyone to reach that same conclusion, no matter how hard administrators might try. In general, I tend to lean towards the side of "if there is a chance for someone's feeling to get hurt... try something else." Especially in this instance where there seem to be an unlimited number of other fun themes. Off the top of my head... "Inside Out Clothes Day", "Tie Dye Day", "Dress Like Your Hero Day".

Your article also made me think about dress up events adults have around this time of year. The "Ugly Sweater Christmas Party" seems to be a mainstay now. I myself have been to no fewer than 6 or 7 in the last few years alone, and every year I can't help but think, "I wonder if any of the people here don't, in fact, find some of these outfits to be ugly." There is the very real possibility that someone actually owns clothes just like the ones we're mocking. To me it seems like the same sort of discussion... only the big kid version.

Thanks again for a great read!