Printer-friendly versionA couple years ago, Chuck—my partner of 22 years—and I were invited to speak to a health class at a local high school. We were participating in a program that sends LGBT folks into middle and high school classrooms to promote tolerance by telling their stories of what it was like growing up.
The room was noisy as the students settled in. And then we heard it over the hubbub. “Don’t be such a faggot,” one teen lobbed at another. The word sent a cold flash through my arms and legs. That was a fighting word. But it hadn’t been directed at us, or even said in the context of the class. I had no idea how, or whether, to respond.
Not Chuck, who had plenty of experience as a teacher. He stood, took a step forward, and shot his voice like a particle beam through the din. “Hey … Hey!” The kid looked over, startled to be confronted by someone he didn’t even recognize. “I resemble that remark,” Chuck said. His eyes were locked on the boy. The room quieted.
The boy shrugged, embarrassed to be in the spotlight. He said, “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“So if someone in here used the N-word on you, or someone else, how would you react?” Chuck asked him as the class looked on.
“I’d be all in his face about it.”
“Why?” Chuck asked.
“I’m not going to let anyone get away with that. No one talks to me that way.”
“Something wrong with the word?”
“Well, yeah!”
“So what if the kid says to you, ‘But I didn’t mean anything by it’—what do you do?”
He still wasn’t getting the point, but lots of other kids in the class were. He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. The guy said it. It’s asking for a fight. It’s, well, it’s in-my-face dissing me.”
Chuck nodded. “I agree with you. But just to be clear. I’m gay. And what you said was up-in-my-face dissing me. And I agree with you. It doesn’t matter that you meant nothing by it. You don’t get to say it.”
Finally, the point landed. “I’m sorry,” the boy said—but not sheepishly, and not reflexively. He was standing up, shoulders square. He looked Chuck in the eye and nodded.
Chuck said, “Cool. You want to stay for this? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“It’s okay. I’ll stay.”
Then Chuck addressed the class:
“But hey, lots of you use that kind of language. Lots of you hear it, and don’t do anything about it. Many of you don’t care. You don’t think it’s a big deal. You’re wrong. All around you are gay kids who are hiding, who are hurting, who are scared. They hear those words and they take a hit.”
It had been an impressive teaching moment, and Chuck nailed it. It showed a fiercely firm yet respectful way to call someone on a slur. And if there were LGBT kids in that classroom, I hope it showed them that their elders were out and on watch, that they were not alone and that they didn’t need to swallow their self-respect.
Comments
I understand the intent here,
I understand the intent here, but I am not sure it's ever appropriate in an educational setting, given stereotype threat and such, for an adult to apply a racial slur to a student of color.
Kids will say "faggot" all
Kids will say "faggot" all day long, but no one will dare say the n-word. Hell we won't even type it. Kids get how offensive the n-word is because the black community fought hard to prove that point. Now the LGBT community is trying to do the same. They are meeting the same opposition that the black community did in the 60's, but why people don't see gay and lesbian bashing (verbal or physical) as the same thing is beyond me.
He was showing the students how BOTH are wrong. As a high school teacher, I think he nailed it! Those teachable moments are the best and by far the most effective.
I will say it, Nigger. It is
I will say it, Nigger. It is just a word. It means nothing without hate behind it. Same with all words. And you are right, words are tossed around carelessly until an effort emerges that "bans" a word socially. Faggot, Nigger, Kike, Honkey, White Trash, Jesus Freak, Spic, Sand Nigger... everyone has heard these terms or some variation. The problem is being scared to even type them or say them to discuss them, that is going to far. If you are a tolerant person you know who you are inside and the utterance of sylables to say what you meam should not be feared as intolerant. That is crossing the line with me. Tolerance is a two way street that does not include rascism with word use.
I read it another way. I feel
I read it another way. I feel that he was not applying the slur to the student but instead asked him what he would do if he did apply it to him. I think that the situation was very appropriate, especially in the educational setting. Educators need to address the student’s needs emotionally and academically.
I so agree with you. The
I so agree with you. The gentleman used NO slur at the student. It was: "what would you do if".
The bottom line is that
The bottom line is that denigration and disrespect have no place in a high school classroom. I ruled my own classroom with an iron fist when it came to slurs and slang. I don't support censorship when it comes to writing the words out of existence, but I do feel that etiquette and proper decorum should hold sway in a classroom setting. In life, I feel that individuals have to be free to choose the language that they use, whether right or wrong. I also feel that other individuals should be free to disassociate themselves on the grounds that they don't care to be around the language or the rudeness. I feel that language and communication are personal decisions, just as the decision to socialize with a particular individual is an individual decision.
I do not support a centralized effort to arbitrate such matters among adults. Children in a classroom, on the other hand, are there to learn about the subject at hand. In this case, the subject was apparently tolerance, and it was entirely appropriate for the speaker to use his moderator power to direct attention to the inappropriate speech of the student and to reach him with an appeal to his reason. It would have been wrong if the speaker had merely dismissed the student from the classroom before attempting to correct the matter. Children are learning the rules. Adults know them. The rules in most places of employment or socialization are clearly spelled out, and you agree to abide by them as part of your employment when you accept a job. Outside of that employment, in your personal and private life, you should be free to make your own decision about self-expression, and others should be free to make their own decision about whether or not to associate with you as part of their personal and private autonomy.
With that said, I really have a severe issue with the intrusion of programming into the workplace, be it fundamentalist religious propaganda or diversity seminars and training. Give your employees clear rules about respecting each other, and keeping their conversations professional and work related. Don't ram an agenda down their throat.
I hear what you're saying,
I hear what you're saying, but the truth is that the language is offensive and filled with hatred (both current and historical). What if you were a student of color in a classroom and others were tossing the N-word around as if it was no big deal? But guess what - it is a big deal. And for someone who knows it to just stand by and allow that kind of hate-filled language to be used is not helping the situation at all. Unfortunately, those who are in the position of the oppressed are the ones who enlighten the privileged on it. This is why it is so important for anyone and everyone to speak out against hate-filled language. Actions and behaviors do not start out that way - they grow out of feelings and words. We need to educate others on what language can do and where it leads. Education is the key to freedom.
I feel you are very wrong.
I feel you are very wrong. Addressing the issue in school is appropiate. School is where these words are being used on a daily- no hourly basis. Students need to realize how much words do hurt. The teacher was correct in addressing the situation right then and there. Talking about something after the fact does no good. He showed all the student how words can hurt and why some are not appropiate.
I agree with him,bekause so
I agree with him,bekause so that the students will not use those harmful words on other students. To make them get hurts.Some are not appropiate bekause students called eachother names that they are not suppose to be called.Students get defense by people kalling them names.What he did was right it seem like he teaching them a lesson how to make students not kalling eachother harmful words and names.
I agree, that Chuck had
I agree, that Chuck had nailed this situation. Not only did he show strength and courage, he also exclaimed a reason behind the meaning of the foul word. It is easier sometimes, for students to understand and make an effort to apply new knowledge, when they understand what they have done wrong. He showed leadership qualities by honoring respect and having dignity. Chuck created a safer environment academically, while dealing with the social issue simultaneously.
I am a paraeducator in an
I am a paraeducator in an elementary school in Nebraska. I have seen situations like this at an elementary age. I think when you have those teaching moments and need to take advantage of them. I was also a child that was made fun of as a child. I chose to teach children at an early age that it is not acceptable and that it hurts peoples feelings. I think that Chuck and his partner did a wonderful job of getting their point across to that high school student.
I feel that what Chuck did is
I feel that what Chuck did is right, for there to be an end to a problem there has to be a beginning to the problem. I personally believe that for all the language and attitudes to stop there needs to be a change that must happen. Although in this article he may have stood up for it, most of the time that never happen. I can't even count how many times I have seen people call other people derogatory words and it deeply affects them, yet they do nothing about it. Ultimately as quoted from Ghandi "Be the change you want to see in the world."
I really believe that the
I really believe that the student wasn't referring to somebody that's hohmosexual, but he said it towards probably his friend. I agree on what the teacher did. He did what he had to do. It was disrespecting and a slap to the face, but how was he suppose to know that the teacher was a fag (no disrespect). In now days, we use many words that is bad and racist, and we as people say it so many times that it feels like a normal word from a dictionary. The teacher did the right thing, and we have to be careful on the things we say around people.
From my perspective i feel
From my perspective i feel that these "N" and "F" words does not matter, for these words are everywhere in todays society and communities. These two words are very adaptable. I hear them everywhere i go, but i dont care for it is used like a dictionary word describing emotions and actions. From my experiences at school, there are many different ethnicity such as asians/mexicans saying "wassup niggah" to eachother. This word is so adaptable that people do not even think that it is a racial word, but a way of saying "HI".
I think that what chuck had
I think that what chuck had said was right and i belive in the population of the student of USA the loose thier minds tring to make thir dreams come true and thier parents never wanted to know what thier kides are going throuh all this troble in life jast as they have had as they were just as them.
For me, i think that Chuck
For me, i think that Chuck did the right thing to confront the student because if he didn't confront the student then there would have been a fight. i know that the "F" and "N" words will be offensive to others because it will be fun for you to said it to others but u won't know how they feels because your not them, and you will feel the same way if that person said it to you too.
EVERYONE READ
EVERYONE READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!----v
I think he just was doing him. I don't think that he SHOULD HAD SAID SOMETHING ABOUT SAYING THE WORD FAGOT, EN LESS HE WERE TO SAY SOMETHING TO HIM ABOUT IT.i THINK THAT HE SHOULD HAD JUST MINDED HIS OWN BUSINESS.....racism sucks though!IF YOUR GAY THEN BE GAY:),but i don't play that but if you are then be gay
If no one were to speak out
If no one were to speak out to the kid saying faggot then he would not have learned anything that day. Maybe now he might take home something he learned that will help him in the real world. Plus by you saying you don't "play that" You sound very insecure about what you're typing.
I FEEL WHAT CHUCK AND THE
I FEEL WHAT CHUCK AND THE STUDENTS SETTLED IN AND HEARD IT OVER DONT BE SUCH A ''FAGGOT'' THAT THE FIGHTING WORD AND I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO RESPOND