Gender in the Fast Lane

I agree! Instead of asking "Boy or Girl"? They could and should ask "Which toy do you prefer?" and then give the choices. Simple enough and it keeps the gender label off the Happy Boxes.

Are there boy toys and girls toys? No. There are toys. But try having that conversation with the drive-thru box and the teenager on the otherside. It goes no where real fast. They will just keep repeating the script - "boy or girl?" The best case scenario (if there is a best case with anthing to do with fast food chains) is when the toy is gender neutral - usually something associated with a movie. My two sons prefer the gender neutral toys because they don't have to listen to Mom debate the box.

Thanks for putting this article up today! It fits perfectly with my lesson in AP Psychology on gender role theories!

I recently went through a McDonalds drive thru in Louisiana. I wasn't very hungry so I asked for a happy meal. I asked for the boy toy and was given some legos, or a similar building puzzle. I traded it for the girl toy, out of interest alone, and received a mini-book. That was enough to send me into a tirade. Girls read and boys build?

The book, American Girl, is based off a collection of dolls from various time periods. My book was about Julie, born in San Francisco during the 1970's. It mentions what was going on in the 1970's: the Vietnam War, the invention of the computer, environmental laws, and equality in sports. You see Julie loves to play basketball, "In Julie's day, girls were starting to claim the same rights as boys to compete." Ok, I thought, this doesn't seem so bad, it's sort of educational. Until, I turned to the end of the mini-book and saw the paper doll cut-outs. Two scenes: an outside flower stand and a kitchen. That's more of what I expected.

This book, minus the dolls, would be just as beneficial for boys. I wonder if in our pursuit to make females equal to males we're leaving our little boys behind? Another example, I see Dove commercials talking about building self-esteem in little girls and I wonder if we're setting our boys up for failure. What do we want after all, is it still equality?

Hot wheels are her favorite, my daughter does not like dolls at all. When asked "is that for a boy or girl" I just say "hot wheels, please" (or whatever they have for the "boy" toy). She knows she can play with any toy she wants (except toy guns) and does not need to lye to get what she wants and can be proud of being a girl.

We have this conversation at my house at regular basis. My two boys grew up in gender-role free household. Dad does dishes and mom mows the lawn. All of us will paint our nails if we so choose (I'm the only female in the house). You will also find so called boy and girl toys in our home. We were doing well until daycare started. It wasn't a few days in when I had my eldest came home and said that he couldn't play with the doll because it was a girl's toy. I did resist the urge to lecture this little innocent 3 year old about the nonsense of labeling toys for boy and girl but I continue to keep this an ongoing discussion (he is now 6 and in Kindergarten). I think it is important that we tell the worker behind the counter that she or he is wrong when asking "Boy or girl". This can be done directly (although long lectures with citations proves to be non-effective when speed is their goal) or cunningly. It can be as simple as "We don't believe boy or girl toys - We will take the car or whatever the toy may be that week" or "My son would like the My Little Pony (something I've actually said)". It will make an impression on and have the person question why we label things at all. You may not make immediate change but you've planted a seed - it may not grown but some will!

The continuing separation of toys based on gender does more than keep gender bias alive. I believe it also plays a role in why boys outnumber girls in engineering programs. As an early childhood educator, I know that block play in the early years gives young children the opportunity to test their own hypotheses about the laws of physical science and math. The corral for the horses and the towers and ramps created in the block center each day are concrete representations of the exploration of science and math. If the world gave the girls the blocks to play with we would definately see more women in math and science. A change has begun over the last 30 years, but we must be deligent in keeping it going.

These type of situations amoung other situations are part of the problem of why our children from a very young age have ideas about who they can and cannot be. My youngest daughter 10 years ago was 6 years old. We took a train trip a couple of times to Chicago from Saint Paul. She made a comment that she would like to be an engineer but only boys can be engineers. Why she thought that was simple.... on the train in many books, etc. The only train engineers she had seen were all men. These are those opportunities for us to teach our kids that there are people who have jobs that are not considered "traditional". I have always been aware of the fact that my girls will get certain messages that could hold them back in life and we talk about those issues. This is why I feel it is sooooo important for us to encourage our kids, foster their passions, and let them know how great they are in all aspects of life.

About five years ago I sent a scathing letter to the McDonald's folks about this very issue...stereotyping boys and girls by the toys they put in the meals. Apart from all of this though is the notion that not only are the toys sexist in nature, but for girls, they also tend to "sexualize" the children who receive them. To this day, as a school counselor, I still use the little Bratz doll I got with a happy meal as an example of how the media sexualizes girls - at VERY young ages. So there are actually multiple lessons to be learned here. Until the toy and entertainment industries stop supplying the fast food restaurants with their wares, this insidious kind of 'education' will not abate. And until the fast food restaurants stop purchasing the wares, this problem will not be solved. The only solution is to continue to build awareness of the media impact of these actions on children.

I think that ultimately what people are twisted in knots about is that there is a norm, based upon simple observation of the majority, in which cars, guns, spaceships, jet fighters, football, and such things are regarded as male interests and dolls, cooking, "cute", "pretty", and such things are regarded as female interests. Charged with serving a majority, the fast food place simply makes a different set of toys based upon the observed interests of the majority of a given gender. I realize that y'all really REALLY hate the truth of the matter but you can't make it go away by anger, resentment, or pithy sayings.

All that said, I think Taco Bell has the right idea: have a big pool of toys and hand one out at random with each kid's meal. It makes things less complex.

Love that this is a topic this month. I just encountered this issue head on at McDonald's. When asked the question regarding boy toy or girl toy, I asked the worker what determined the gender of the toy! She gave me a blank stare. She said again, "boy toy or girl toy?" I asked her again how that determination was made....then she asked me if I had a girl or a boy...I asked what that mattered. She then said, "the boy toy is a car and the girl toy is a Barbie...girls don't like cars." At that point, my daughter heard the choices and yelled out, "I want the car, I want the car!" Point made, but not understood by the worker.

This is all very interesting because I have a set of twin boy and girl. They are very different little people but sometimes they do like to be the same in that they like to play with the same toys and sometimes yes it's the dolls! And I do not encourage "boy toys" and "girl toys" but sometimes other people will make comments like well he should not be playing with the twins dolls!! and so the debate begins. I always try to explain to people that if boys play with dolls that only means that they will become good fathers and if girls play with cars they will become good drivers! This is how I deal with the situation but many times I do get tired of defending the subject and I do realize that a lot of people are still living in the dark ages.

Sexism is something totally silly. That is why boys grow with the fear of playing with girls and viceversa. In most societies if a boy or a girl is seen playing with toys that do not catalogue them by their gender, they are going to be criticized causing mayor damage. Children should grow with what they feel the most comfortable with. They should not grow with the idea that males are completely different from females in terms of intelligence and ability.

I agree sexism is stupid. It makes society veiw males and females, as unequal. such as clothing, some people still make their kids,namely girls,wear gender specific clothing. they dress them in dresses when they want to wear jeans or make them wear blouses when a t-shirt would be fine. all in all i believe young women are targeted most to be ultra-feminen.

It's true that you can't expect gender bias consciousness at the sort of corporations that make their living poisoning children and pro-actively market their products to children with the goal of creating MSG addicts for life. So probably it is barking up the wrong tree to ask these sort of companies to be less sexist...they are barely even human in their aims as corporations, let alone interested in educating children about the possibilities of life...the hopelessly oppressed are their biggest customers from what I see.

But I do find it an interesting phenomenon. My son once played with any and every toy you put in front of him, but after one year in PRE-KINDER now knows very well that pink and purple toys belong to girls, and primary color toys are for boys. Trains, planes, cars and the ilk...boy toys. Butterflies, dress up and flowers, girls.

It's utterly pervasive,and no wonder. In a society that nowadays can barely wait ten weeks into gestation to begin the gender pigeon-holing, that sells gender test at-home kits, we don't even wait for the baby to be born before assigning gender stereotypes. Girl babies make their moms crave less protein. Girl babies make their mommies fatter and oilier. Girl babies tend to be less active in the womb.

For the love of Pete!

Just let a baby be a baby! Let a kid play with the toys it likes! Why do pre-pubescent boys and girls need to sexualized so early? To what end does it serve? Who benefits from these continued stereotypes and forced gender roles?

Well...apart from McDonalds and Mattel, that is? If the majority of kids of a given gender on the whole prefer any one type of toy or another it is for no other reason than the fact that they are being told via their parents, TV shows, toy commercials, and Billboards and indeed their own early developmental teachers that certain toys are for girls and certain toys are for boys, and liking the toys of the Other is wrong, like using the Other bathroom, or wearing the Other outfits, or forgetting who is a he and who is she and mixing up his and her. It's wrong and in need of being corrected. Most kids in the four to five range don't take too long to self-correct and make the "right choices" to avoid funny stares.

Parents and teachers who care have an uphill battle to face no matter which restaurants, if any, they choose to frequent. It would just be nice not to have to get such unhappy reminders in a "happy meal".

I'm afraid that I think burning too much of this energy on reforming how fast food restaurants see these toys is a waste. I suspect that my in-laws are more typical of fast food clientele than we are and they fly off the handle if their sons engage with their sisters' or cousins' "girl" toys. Fast food is about pleasing the most people as quickly as possible, not about nuance. As for our own dealings with toys from Burger King/Wendy's/McDonald's, when my daughter was small on the odd occasions that we did go to one of these places and were asked the "boy or girl" question (sometimes with just the one child standing next us, self-evidently female) my husband or I would turn to her and say, "Are you a boy or a girl today?" and she would respond based on whichever toy she was in the mood for. The clerks were never fazed by this and always gave her the toy she wanted if it was in stock. (I've also had them say "We only have boy toys today. Is that okay?") Oh, and The Daring Book for Girls and The Dangerous Book for Boys are on the whole pretty good. The former offers some tips on how to negotiate a salary and the latter advises on the more obvious pitfalls to avoid while trying to talk to a girl (ie be careful with the potty jokes no matter how hilarious you think they are).

I have taught elementary art for many years. As the children work they discuss a wide variety of topics, but it still surprises me to hear a student state that pink is a girl color and blue, of course, is a boy color. It does give me an opportunity to help dispel the gender myth. I agree, sexism is silly to me too.

Thanks for this. As a genderqueer individual, I'm passing it on to my friends.

I think you might be taking it a little too seriously. A toy is a toy, sorry the company asks if you want a boy or girl toy. But they have about 5 toys to each side and each toy isn't always there. If they were to list each toy it would take far too long and every one would get annoyed. The new generations of kids don't really know or care about sexist, and racism for that matter, until the older generations point it out. It would be much easier to see an equal world if the older generations would stop pounding their personal beliefs down on their children.
Race and sex shouldn't be an issue to anyone, and it wouldn't be if people would stop making such a big deal about every small instance that doesn't matter. Women can vote, and have jobs, we are independent. Arguing over the label of toys is completely worthless. its just so the boys that don't want sparkly things, which happens to be the majority, won't get sparkly things. And that is not a sex stereotype. It's just a fact. The same goes for girls generally not wanting a gross bug toy.
True, some girls are tom boys and want them, and some boys are more feminine. Then fine, as for the opposite gender toy. But there is no reason to make a scene

Just a quick comment to those quick to blame the "teenager behind the counter" with the "blank stare" who neither cares nor understands your dilemma: you are unfairly pigeonholing them, as well. It's not unlikely that that person does know, and understand and even agree with your views that labeling the toys for either boys or girls is absurd and promotes gender stereotyping that contributes to all kinds of gender inequalities. This is a topic increasingly discussed in schools, as well as books and magazines and websites targeted at teens to college students. Please don't blame as and treat us as the enemy when we're doing our job as we're told to by our superiors. After all, I'm sure every one of you has had a job with policies you didn't agree with.

I just don't see the big deal with this. My sons would be livid to receive a Barbie doll figurine or Little Pet Shop toy- and not because I've told them to that way. But, simply because they are boys, and they like boy things. It's so odd to me that parents fight this, and delude themselves into believing that boys and girls are the same. As a parent of both, and foster parent to many more- they simply are not the same. Are there some fast food freebies that are gender neutral? Absolutely. Chik-fil-a and Wendy's have never asked me "boy or girl?", and usually give books or cds as the 'prize'. But when I do get asked, I proudly give the true answer. Because after all, does it really matter? Is it really that offensive that someone in marketing at your burger joint of choice thought that boys would like a space toy more than a butterfly stencil? Grow up parents, and stop being so offended on behalf of your children! Chances are, if you stopped trying to desensitize them to gender, you'd discover that the marketing agent was right.

As a 14 year old girl, I think that gender equality is a big issue. I recently cut my hair "boy short" and often have to hear people call me and my brother "the boys" just because they don't bother to look past my hair. I've started dressing more girly and I'm planning on piercing my ears 'cause I'm tired of it. My brother prefers to keep his hair long- as he has a beard now, no one thinks he's a girl, but why should girls have long hair and boys short? It's a personal preference in my mind. The hair thing is exactly like toys. When I was little I liked to play with the same toys as my brother, but dolls too. I think people should stop assuming that boys and girls should like different things based on gender.

Asking if it is for a boy or a girl is a requirement while working register at a fast food place. frankly it would be a lot easier not to ask this and to put whatever toy we wanted in the bag but then there are some parents who will come up and yell about how their child is a boy and got a girl toy. To just end the potential arguement of accidently giving a boy a girls toy or a girl a boys toy, we ask.

Its just a fast food toy, relax. they have a new toy every other week. Go back again soon and get a stereotypical "girl" toy and i bet your daughter will like that too.

I know that fast food places were the target of this article but it is not them that are at fault, or at least not exclusively. If you look at mainstream toys, all are divided by gender.

I had a discussion with a single father once who said that his son will never have babies to play with. I found it sad that his son would never be able to emulate his father, who is taking care of a baby by himself.

The issue of gender neutrality is interesting. I think in the world of FastFood Toys, its a great place to be gender neutral; however, there are times when it's okay for gender roles to be expressed. Until we evolve to asexuals there will be genders in the world. Hormones have a way of making us "feel" in particular ways, and feelings more times than not turn into actions. We end up liking things that are stereotypically gender specific. None of this means that I don't think a boy can not like traditionally girls things, or that girls can not like traditionally boys things, only that there are trends among the sexes, and to pretend it is all induced by nurture and none from nature is a bit naive.

In the end our children will grow into adults; men and women will look at each other and wonder what makes the other tick. It's been this way since the beginning of time, and unless we come up with a way for the average person to live a day in the life of the opposite sex, it will be this way likely for ever.

I don't know that I want a gender neutral world, in fact, I'm pretty sure I do not. What I WOULD LIKE however, is a world where equality reigns. Equal work for equal pay would be a GREAT starting place. I would like to know that when my daughters go to work, that they will get paid for their skills, not for their gender.

GL out there, its a puzzle we've been working on since day one, and I reckon we'll still be working on it when we go extinct.

Honestly I think you're being ridiculous. No one is being oppressed here and if you ask nicely you can get what you want from burger king, I'm sure. Trust me there is enough mothers out there trying to blur the gender lines already, unfortunately.
Biologically, obviously, girls are one way and boys another so whats wrong with promoting a healthy amount of femininity in your girl...it doesn't mean she cant like space or "boy" toys, but why turn this into a moral dilemma. You sound like you like drama lady, my suggestion...get a hobby!

Proud of Austin!
Here in Austin Texas at our Micky D they ask "so would you like a doll or a robot" or specifically what item! they never say girl or boy!

There were lots of times when I was growing up (before there were "Kiddy Meals" with toys) that I thought my brother's toys were way cooler than mine. Shouldn't the fast food chains put in toys that could be enjoyed by either sex?

I actually work at McDonald's right now, and let me tell you how much I hate that I have to say "Is that for a boy or a girl?" I hate it! But the thing is, it's *fast* food. I have to worry about my serving time because more often than not, there's a line. It's a lot faster to look around for any children and then punch in the sex or ask "Is that for a boy?" and then punch it in than it is to say "Would you like the Nerf toy or the Cabbage Patch toy?"

And I appreciate parents who say which toy they'd like. I really do, because it gives me hope for their children. It makes me extremely happy when a parent says "It's for a girl/boy but (s)he'd like the _____."

But 95% of the time, the parent is just as concerned about the girl vs boy toy as corporate is. (Then again, I do live in the south.) If I misjudge the child's sex and give him or her the wrong toy (even when it's a girl and she receives the obviously superior 'boy' toy) the parent come back and asks for the other toy.

Most of my coworkers feel the same way about it, if only because most of them are women and they want to know how on earth the Cabbage Patch booklet and stamp thing is in any way equally fun as the Nerf toys, which included some that shoot darts and some that were sports-based.

So, yeah. Just please don't blame the kid behind the counter. Our managers hang around and correct us when we go off-script. XP

My mom would always ask which of the toys I wanted rather than telling them I needed a girl toy or a boy toy.