Our Groups of Friends

First, on a labeled color-coded chart, students write under each of their names the name of an adult they live with, the names of five of their closest friends (using their own definitions of  “close friend”) and five of the adult’s closest friends.

At the top of the red column, have students write “Race.” Then they place an S next to each friend who has the same race they identify with and a D for friends who are of a different race. They may not necessarily know how their friends identify themselves; the point is how they perceive their friends. Then they should repeat for the adult and the adult’s friends: S for same race, D for different race.

In the orange column have students write “Age.” Then they place an S for each friend whose age is within one year of theirs and a D if the age difference is more than a year. For the adults, the age difference needs to be greater than five years to be marked as different. Again, they may base their S’s and D’s on their own perceptions.

Label the yellow column “Gender,” the green column “Social Class” and the blue column “Religion.” Have the students continue to mark S and D, based on their perceptions. When they finish, hold a discussion using some of these guiding prompts:

Count your S’s and D’s and the adults’ S’s and D’s. Whose friends are more diverse? Why might that be?

In what way are your friends most diverse? Least diverse? What about the adult? Why might this be?

Why is it valuable to have friends who share your identities? Why would you want to have friends who are of the same age or gender?

Why is it valuable to have friends who don’t share your identities? Why would you want a friend who’s older or who belongs to a different religion?

Do you talk about these aspects of identity with your family and friends? For example, do you discuss what it means to be middle class or Muslim or 15 years old?

Next give students 25 dot stickers, five in each of the colors from their charts. Looking at their own friend lists, have the students label their dots with S’s or D’s, by color. On the walls hang five large posters, each labeled with the appropriate color and identifier (Red = Race, Orange = Age, Yellow = Gender, Green = Social Class, Blue = Religion). Divide each poster in half, with the halves labeled “Same” and “Different.”

The students are to stick their dots on the appropriate halves of each poster, providing a visual display of how diverse friend-groups are in the grade as a whole. Encourage students to offer explanations for why some “D” posters and “S” posters are so full. Ask students if they are surprised. Do they see the value in a diverse group of friends?

Lauren Porosoff
Fieldston Middle School
Bronx, N.Y.

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