Gender in the Fast Lane

“Is that for a boy or a girl?”

This is the question posed to thousands of parents and guardians as they sweep through drive-throughs each day, seeking some quick eats for their children.

For my daughter, these moments are precious treats. We’re not big consumers of fast food. And, in all honesty, it’s not about the nuggets for her. What she wants — what she really, really wants — is the toy that’s always floating in a bubble of plastic inside the kid’s meal. A new toy with dinner — really, what could be better to a five-year-old?

I, on the other hand, loathe these moments, because, more often than not, they are an exercise in gender. “A boy or a girl?”

Sometimes, I mix it up and lie. “Boy,” I declare, which universally leads to chants from Zoe in the back seat: “I’m a girl! I’m a girl!”

Such was the case during a recent weekend. The toy my daughter pulled from the bag was a “Dangerous Space” stencil set, brought to us by the authors of The Dangerous Book for Boys.

Had I said “girl,” our options — based on The Daring Book for Girls — would have been a stencil set of sea animals, a mold-and-clay toy with a flower and a ladybug, and a watercolor set.

Burger King was serving up double servings of gender that day, making all kinds of presumptions about what boys and girls should like. Contrary to their predictions, Zoe loved her space toy. After all, one of the things she wants to be when she grows up is an astronaut.

The experience reminded me yet again of the importance of battling gender stereotyping at home — and in our classrooms. One of my favorite lessons in this regard is Gendered Beliefs [2], which helps young children identify and respond to gender-based stereotypes.

Among the lesson’s scenarios: “Sumen is playing in her room with her Barbie doll. Her brother Raj comes in and starts to play with another Barbie doll. Sumen tells Raj that he can't play with the Barbie doll because only girls can play with Barbies. What do we tell Sumen?”

The answer? "I disagree! Sexism is silly to me."

And that’s exactly what we should say to Burger King.