For the Love of All Families

Editor’s Note: This week’s Teaching Tolerance featured lesson focuses on the rich diversity of family [2] structure. The four-part series helps students recognize and appreciate the uniqueness of their family and of families around them.

When I was in elementary school, it was common to overhear adults say that children were from “broken homes” if they lived with a single mom or dad or sometimes with grandparents. One of those families belonged to my friend Ellie, who lived with her mom. So I asked my father, a Congregational minister, why some people thought Ellie’s family was broken? Dad gently explained that strong families, Ellie’s included, have three characteristics: love, connectedness and commitment.

Several years ago, my school hosted the photography exhibit Love Makes a Family [3]. The photos of LGBT parents and their children celebrated love, commitment and connectedness, the three characteristics my dad spoke of so long ago.

Following that exhibit, teachers and administrators in the lower school looked for ways to apply the ideals portrayed in the Love Makes a Family exhibit. With so many different family combinations in our community and respected gay colleagues in our midst, we wanted to celebrate family in all its positive forms.

“We had embedded lessons about family structure into the primary grades curriculum for years, so our students already knew a lot about inclusiveness,” says Gloria Runyon, the school’s principal. “The Love Makes a Family exhibit helped us figure out what else we could do to make our community stronger.”

The result was a school celebration honoring all types of family groups: two moms, one dad, a grandparent or other relative, a mom and dad, two dads, one mom, gay, straight and any number of extended-generation households. We also recognize the diversity within our faculty and staff, letting our gay colleagues know how much we appreciate them as good teachers and friends. 

Each April, lower school students celebrate Free-to-Be-Me week with books, games, family stories and cooking projects. Lessons focus on accepting individual and family differences, and activities challenge all types of stereotypes. Hallway bulletin boards and stairwell walls are awash with photos and drawings of families—on vacation, at celebrations, attending graduations, doing yard work, picnicking or just plain hanging out. Many of us share pictures of gay family members and friends. Rainbows are everywhere.

At the end of the week at a jubilant Free-to-Be-Me assembly, we remind our gay colleagues and teachers that they are a valued part of the school community, and we recognize the different families in our midst. 

One special part of the assembly pays tribute to all of our families: In an activity called That’s My Family, a student member calls out, “Did you know that GDS has all sorts of families?” and designated children reply, “Yes, some families have two moms” or “Yes, some families have one dad and a grandmother.” In the audience, students from similar family groups wave their hands and call out, “That’s my family!” Everyone cheers. The activity proceeds, identifying all of the family groups at our school as enthusiasm builds and cheers fill the gym.

Love does make a family. And at our school, it takes all kinds of families and lots of different people to make a great school.

Weston is a middle school technology teacher in Washington, D.C.