Preparing to Help Students Through Tough Times

Sonia is a quiet girl with a shy smile who never raises her hand in my class. Recently, she told me that she is bisexual.

Sonia shared this during a conflict resolution meeting conducted for her and another girl in the class, Katie. She had a crush on Katie and had been pursuing her through frequent text messages. Sonia had persisted even though Katie had made it clear she only wanted to be friends. At the end of our meeting, Sonia agreed to stop texting Katie. By the end of the day they appeared to be friends again.

I was stunned. This was the first time a student had “come out” to me. Because I teach 7^th and 8th grades, a time when sexual identity is in the initial stages of formulation, I don’t teach many students who are openly gay or bisexual. In fact, in my six years of teaching, this was the first self-identified LGBT student I have taught.  

I was also surprised that it didn’t seem like a big deal. Middle school is an incredibly hard time to be “different,” and it isn’t an inherently safe place to come out. But most of the students in class knew Sonia was bisexual, and there hadn’t been much of a reaction. I hope it’s a sign that society is becoming more open-minded and accepting.

But for Sonia, the experience of being the only LGBT student in our class was still isolating and confusing. She struggled with relationship boundaries and needed guidance.

In the process of working with Sonia, I found an organization in our city called SMYRC- Sexual and Gender Minority Youth Resource Center [2] that offers free counseling to LGBT youth. They also have a drop-in center. I passed this resource on to Sonia’s parents. I’m glad I found it.

One thing I learned from this experience is how confusing and painful it can be to be a minority of any kind. I also realized how essential it is for teachers to be prepared to help students navigate through difficult times.

Anderson is a middle school humanities and interdisciplinary studies teacher in Oregon.