Gender Expression

At the high school where I teach, we have a game called Trash Ball. Born out of necessity when we occupied a school site with no field, no track and no gym, Trash Ball requires two trash cans, one bouncy ball and a co-ed team. It can be played with many or few students. But Trash Ball is impossible to play without women and even more inconceivable to win without the full participation of the female players. The rule is that men must pass to women to advance the ball but women can pass to anyone. I first thought this rule was sexist, but over the years I have seen it played and have changed my mind. I find it empowering. In fact, the value of girls in this game is so high that female players are revered and respected. Boys no longer avoid passing to girls for fear they will fumble or “make the team lose.” Now, with Trash Ball, boys get upset when one of the girls on their team is absent because they know that having one less woman is a deficit.

Camilla was drawing a doll she was planning to get with her parents over the weekend. She was talking to herself in sing-song tones as she drew the doll, some of her clothes and her own house.

Across the table sat Tommy; he heard Camilla talking about the doll she was about to get. He exclaimed, almost as joyfully, “Hey! I’m going to get a doll too!” The two began to chat about the types of dolls they were going to get.

Across the room, another boy, busily building with blocks, said in a voice that reached across the room, “You are getting a doll?” A look of confusion spread across his face.

In my eighth-grade language arts classroom, we use discussion as a vehicle for learning, thinking, writing, posing and defending arguments, questioning and reviewing—just about everything. And as can be expected, we sometimes digress from the topic at hand.

I decided to show a short You Tube video clip in class the other day. It’s a montage of scenes of men crying from various movies complete with cheesy background music, a song Don’t Cry Out Loud. I used it to open a discussion about how stereotypes put unnecessary limitations on people.

One of my fondest and most salient memories from the past school year happened toward the beginning of the year. Joe had just turned 5. He was making his own book about pirates.

When I took the opportunity to co-teach a mixed-grade level coed dance class, I expected some of the boys to be reluctant to participate in the ballet portion for fear of being seen as gay or at the very least feminine. To cut this off before it started, I used a Teaching Tolerance lesson plan that allows students to explore gender stereotypes. I put labels on each student’s back with the name of a profession. I assigned traditionally male careers to girls and traditionally female careers to boys. Students had to figure out their profession by asking yes or no questions of their classmates. Afterwards, they reflected on their reaction to the assigned profession. This activity set the stage for breaking down stereotypes as we also introduced ballet as a dance form.

Michael needed help.

He was in the dress-up center trying, with little luck, to shimmy a shiny turquoise mermaid dress over his head. Clearly he had no clue what he was doing. But the look on his face told me he really wanted to wear the frock. I walked over and helped.