Lasting Impacts in Maine

Being yourself, sticking to your guns, not running with the herd, finding your true identity – these are the catch-phrases that movies, music, TV, and education itself present as hallmarks of American culture. Too often, these ideals falter when faced with the demand for homogeneity that pervades the school system. Especially when it comes to gender expectations.

Ask "Jay," a one-time honor's student at a high school in Maine whose life was derailed forever because being himself involved disliking sports, loving theater, and dying a few strands of his hair blue. Not running with the herd brought on two years of insults and threats, damaging rumors and social exclusion from most of his peers. In the fall of his senior year, Jay made detailed plans to commit suicide.

Before he could take his own life, Jay was able to confide in his parents, who talked to teachers and administrators and advocated for change in the school. Instead of taking effective action to remedy the aggressive bigotry, school officials shifted the burden to the victim. One principal suggested to Jay, "Maybe if you got rid of your blue hair, you wouldn't have these problems."

Thom Harnett, Maine's assistant attorney general for civil rights education and enforcement, learned about Jay the following spring, by which time the emotional bullying had progressed to criminal threats observed by a police officer. By then, Jay, only months from graduating, had dropped out of school.

"He was seriously injured long before we could do anything about it," says Harnett. "We didn't get involved until it became physical." Harnett obtained a permanent civil injunction against the minor who tormented Jay, but Jay never returned to the school. "We could do absolutely nothing to erase the memories that others had created for Jay," Harnett says, "memories he will carry for the rest of his life."

But something may have been achieved. Despite the trauma, Jay finished high school at home and went on to college out-of-state. Although the high school had at best a "lackluster" response to Jay's bullying, says Harnett, a staff member became involved and helped create a Civil Rights Team to address similar issues.