Printer-friendly versionThe best way to avoid being stymied when the moment occurs is to prepare. Simply telling yourself that you are someone who will speak up goes a long way toward shifting from inaction to action. So say to yourself:
• I am a person who will speak up against bigotry.
• I will not let hate have the last word.
A next step is to develop ready responses that will work in a variety of moments.
• That offends me.
• I don’t find that funny.
• I’m surprised to hear you say that.
These phrases allow you to speak up against bias in a simple, straightforward manner. Sometimes they may open a dialogue. Other times, they simply allow you to challenge bias and take a vocal stand against it.
Simple questions also are a good way to interrupt everyday bigotry.
• What do you mean by that?
• Why would you say something like that?
• What point are you trying to make by saying that?
Questions place a burden on the person who made the remark. When faced with having to explain a “joke” or support a stereotype, people sometimes find themselves at a loss. Follow up with a simple “Tell me more” to help the person move toward a deeper understanding of why the remark is offensive. If the speaker falls back on something such as, “C’mon, I was just being funny,” then you can use one of your ready responses, such as, “I don’t find that funny.”
Practice the phrases aloud. Memorize them. Have them ready for the next moment.
“The most important thing is to say something,” says Deb Nielsen, a middle school teacher in Durango, Colo. “Don’t let these kinds of put-downs pass. Put yourself out there, and you will make a difference.”
Nielsen offers her own set of standard responses:
• Did you mean to say something hurtful when you said that?
• Using that word as a put-down offends me.
• Using that word doesn’t help others feel safe or accepted here.
Keep these in mind as well:
How do you say it? You know you’ll speak up. But what about tone and temperament? Veteran educators say it’s best if you remain calm and thoughtful. Don’t react with shock. Mostly, just be yourself. Be firm. Be confident. Know that you are doing the right thing. There is no need to shame or humiliate the other person; that tack too often works against you, galvanizing the behavior instead of changing it. Humor is risky. Sometimes it can defuse a tense situation. Other times, though, it can send a mixed message. Was something about the bigoted comment funny? Are you laughing at (and potentially shaming) the speaker, and will that backfire?
Assess the risk of speaking up. You may be branded too sensitive, too “politically correct,” too something. You may feel the sting of rejection. You may fear retaliation by hostile students or colleagues. This is especially true when challenging someone in authority. So consider your safety in any moment when you may choose to speak up. Is now the best time? Could I handle this in a different way, later, that would be safer? Is there someone I trust—a colleague, a peer, a mentor—to whom I can speak about this, to help me prepare for the next time it happens? Try not to let unwarranted fear silence you, but do consider the consequences of speaking up—and weigh them against the consequences of not speaking up.
Understand the dynamics of change. It happens slowly, and sometimes not at all. People can hold on to prejudice with tenacity. But know this: Speaking up offers a powerful force for good, and it is felt by all within earshot. If you speak up, others may follow— and others after them. You may inspire people to find the courage to speak up themselves, in a later moment. Don’t gauge success solely by whether the person you are addressing changes; change is happening all around you, and the ability to marginalize bias is a sign of success.
Don’t undermine your efforts. If changed behavior is what you are after, keep that goal in mind—and let it shape your response. Calling someone a “racist” may feel satisfying, but it also may reinforce that person’s bigotry, and be counterproductive. You may never change this person’s behavior—a tough realization in anti-bias work—but that doesn’t mean you should strengthen their cause by behaving badly yourself. “I’m not going to call another teacher racist,” says Tracy Oliver-Gary, an AP history teacher from Burtonsville, Md. “That just throws up a brick wall, and anything else I say will be lost.” As the old saying goes, be the change you want to see—and impart this idea to your students as often as possible. Keep in mind, too, that your students struggle with the same issues you do, and more.
