What did you do to your hair? Since when did we ever say you could dye it? Boys? Who said you could date? Where do you think you're going at this hour? I don't care if you're 18, you do what I say and that's final!
Along with the generation gap that many of today's teens and parents experience, immigrants and their children must also endure the culture gap.
"Everyone has difficulties with their parents because they were born in a different time, but when they were born in a different country, you have more to combat," said senior Colleen Jennings, of Irish descent.
"Our parents want the traditions from their homeland to be passed on in the next generation, but we're obliged to follow both cultures as we grow up," agreed senior Sunil Naidu, of Indian descent.
Immigrants bring over their own views and heritage from their homeland, while their children want to assimilate into the American culture to avoid any ridicule.
"First-generation immigrant children tend to deny their own culture because they want to be quickly accepted by the American culture, especially in the areas of dress and speaking," said history teacher Mrs. Hilda MacLean. When parents see this difference, they often panic, and conflict arises between them and their children. The culture gap only intensifies the generation gap as children try to balance both cultures.
Said Dr. Amin Azimi, a licensed psychologist and family therapist, "The children often complain that their parents are stubborn and outdated, while thir parents are uncomfortable seeing their children behaving untraditionally."
In addition, many first-generation teens struggle with common social customs that most teens view as part of normal everyday life.
Said [one] senior girl of Indian descent, "In my culture, when you're in a serious relationship with a guy, it means that you're going to get married, as compared to the American culture where you can date a guy just to get to know him."
Many first-generation teens also find it very hard to discover their own identity because they are torn between their American culture and their native culture or heritage.
Said Naidu, "I'm being brought up in an environment where I have the freedom to say things, to think individually and exchange whatever thoughts I have to share on any issues. But in India, when adults are in the room, the kids aren't allowed to engage in conversations or refute what they say."
Although there are many conflicts that first-generation immigrant teens and their parents face, many feel that as time passes by, the gap will begin to close.
Said Naidu, "I think later on, the gap will start to close because we'll be the parents of the second generation and we'll be more understanding."
Communication can also help enhance the relationship between immigrant parents and their children if they are more expressive with their thoughts and feelings in a constructive manner.
In addition, as first generation children grow older, they tend to feel more appreciative for their native culture and find a need to learn more about their heritage.
Said MacLean, "As they get older, many first generation immigrant teens go back and find their roots when they see it's not a threat anymore."
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