At my school, we often call a student’s misbehavior a “poor choice.” A staff member suggested that the phrase unintentionally promotes a bias against the poor. I appreciated that insight. Wouldn’t it be much more accurate—and equally effective—to say, “That choice was disrespectful,” or “The choice you made disrupted our learning?”
We agreed, that in general, the best practice is to name the behavior specifically and avoid using general adjectives. For instance, instead of referring to a student who cheated as “sneaky,” a broad and judgment-rich word referring to her character, we should simply say that she cheated. In conversations with that student and her family, we certainly emphasize that the act of cheating does not demonstrate integrity. But we should not label her as conniving. We must be careful not to confuse students’ missteps with their value as a person.
If we want our students to learn from their mistakes, we must be deliberate in calling them that: mistakes. Errors in judgment. Learning opportunities. We must model the truth that words are powerful, and should be used with reverence, and deliberation. I’m reminded of this poem (the author is unknown):
Be careful of your thoughts, for your
thoughts become your words.
Be careful of your words, for your
words become your actions.
Be careful of your actions, for your
actions become your habits.
Be careful of your habits, for your
habits become your character.
Be careful of your character, for your
character becomes your destiny.
We must honor the open, yet-to-be-determined destinies of our students; we must make sure that we mean what we say.
Craven is a language arts paraprofessional in Louisiana.
