“Man that boy booty sweaty!”
The comment rang out in a room that was supposed to be silent. Although the student whose “booty” was being discussed was out of the room and seemingly unscathed by his classmate’s remarks, I knew I had to address this like any other incident of disrespect. Since there are some students (most, I’d wager), who would be made uncomfortable by this type of remark, everyone needs to know that it’s not okay to say such a thing. It’s an opportunity for me to help a teenager hone empathy into a habit.
Most schools claim to value respect. It’s a word that shows up frequently in class rules and acronyms, mission statements and goals. But it’s not always treated with the gravity it deserves.
Recently, I began working at a school that does an excellent job enforcing the expectation that all students show respect to both peers and adults. It is possible. Even at a high-poverty school like mine. Even in a community that many write off as incapable of or uninterested in the type of respect we’re talking about. It is so exciting to see how well these procedures work to ensure that any disrespect is addressed.
In this school, “disrespect to adult or peer,” however major or minor, is met with an automatic send-out. The teacher sends the offenders across the hall, where they must write a reflection about whatever occurred. The teacher fills out a small form to give context, a specific explanation and a recommendation for what steps to take next. The student is only readmitted to the classroom after he or she acknowledges the error and completes a reflection. Consequences are issued, ranging from after-school detention to losing a privilege. Parents are always notified. This shows the student that mistakes aren’t all-consuming. You learn from them, you move on. The world—and your work—continues.
What I love most about this strategy is that no disrespect, however trivial, is tolerated in the classroom. Even a comment made in jest is identified as unacceptable. A one-on-one conversation follows each send-out. This shows students that while they may make poor choices at times, they are still cared about. This, in turn, helps inspire them to keep caring.
We have to keep them caring. And sometimes, first, we have to teach them how to show they care for each other.
Craven is a middle school English teacher in Louisiana.
